1-30-2006

Why is it all always about me?

Its been awhile since I first noticed, that I really really care about myself. And not just care, but share for myself complete adoration and affection. In truth, I really don't give a shit about anyone, its always how will everything benefit me, what can they do for me, what can I do for myself, and millions upon others self gratifying acts. I do what I want to do, I watch what I want, eat what I want, listen and hear what I want, say what I want, and no one can stop me, not my parents, or friends, nor teachers or my boss, simply it is all about me. I have rights! , right to my opinion, my own belief, and no one can take it away from me, or tell me, that it's all not about me.

But I'm not the only one,...what was called the ME generation of the 90s, and the now so called MY WORLD generation of the millennium, is not a recent phenomenon. Our extreme love for ourselves is deeply rooted in the 20th century. Deeply rooted in individuation, in prosperity, in our culture, in our money. The reason we are self indulgent pretentious presumptuous weenies lies in our success.

What was once the stewardship of the 18th century, of close knit , tight bound interdependent rural communities of America had shifted radically to urban independent families in the early 20th century. When philanthropy was considered en mode in the 18th, Individuality was considered chic in the 1920s, and from there we have the monster that is us today, wealthy , and engorged in self priding and promotion. What are the benefits when we think the world revolves around us, and what are its disadvantages? In the long term , is it beneficial that we pay so much attention to ourselves while overlooking anything and everything not associated with us? Intuitively one feels something is wrong, and slowly but surely there start to appear holes in our seemingly superior lifestyle.

Today in America, we the middle class (and up) enjoy more "stuff" then ever before. Our hoarding of stuff, much like anything else is a product of our Western upbringing. We are the pinnacle of civilization, and deserve everything it has to offer, from material to emotional condiments. Your parents had one or two kids so they could spend their time prepping you up; buying you toys, taking you to museums, teaching you how to play the violin, saxophone , piano, baseball, soccer, basketball, they bought you a pc, a car, vacations, allowances, let you go party, buy you clothes on and on and on and on, let's just put it this way, ...we are special, we are made to feel special and we expect others to realize how special we are. People should watch what they say not to offend me, and if they do, there are plenty of laws that will categorize their ill demeanor as personal and vindictive attacks on my being, and should they offend me, I better have care: antidepressives, professional therapy, emotional and physical help, because too much time has been invested in me, and I am too special to be given up on.

Unfortunately by believing we (individually) are special, we inevitably come to the conclusion, that all those around us are not. Well , are they?, perhaps. Perhaps they are your equals, economically, physically, maybe then you sympathize with them, but others, you could care less about them. It's obvious they're not special, they don't think the way you do, they don't have the stuff you do, and whatever useful thing you they have, you already own!. In current global society, we the fruits of western society have bought, stole, copied all that we like from any other culture. We do not owe anyone anything, because with our means, we can always get it. You and I are probably the most self sufficient people on this planet. Look at the world around you, you or your parents or relatives …probably own a stock in various companies in America which in turn own shares, stock, obligations in many companies around the world. In short, the world revolves around you. Aren't you special? And they're not.

This comfortable, ominous, omnipotent, omniscient existence is great, when all is great, when all around you recognize you as great, as the ruler of your destiny and the destiny of others... but should they not, what then? Can you buy their loyalty? Educate them to acknowledge you, supreme? What if you can't., will you defend your sovereignty? Will you put your special self on the line, for some material possessions? No of course not, you're too important too special to be equated with material goods.

Evolved western thought, that is detached from the rest of the world and their life threatening problems welcomes humanitarianism and philanthropy with open arms. It suits us. Sure everyone else is not as special as we are, but don't we feel sorry when pictures of kids in Africa playing in their own waste are shown on the screen. We acutely realize how precious life is, our life, and are in full fear should we fall into the situation of the "non specials" or worse yet, die. This ingrained understanding and belief that we are so special and life is so special is what will always stand between us and our willingness to put ourselves at risks, for our ideals and beliefs. It is this flowering of intellectual thought that blinds us to our nature and to the very fragile existence of it. But this mythical reality will shatter. Sooner or later, by our hands or by hands of others which do not recognize how special we think ourselves to be, this apex we have reached will become another just another stepping stone, or worse yet a trench, and when our inflated egos finally come in contact with the not so fortunate reality of others around us, the result might prove to be fatal.